To fear or not to fear? How is the question!
Fears.
Some fears are small but still hold us back in a big way, some fears take over various aspects of our lives and stop us doing the things we really want to do. And, generally, we generate fears ourselves.
The good news is, you can stop the fear, get over them, under them, through them, which ever suits you best.
How I hear you ask? With a little NLP visualisation technnique, some determination and then actually doing the thing that you feared!
For example, I love driving now.
Did I just write that?! I didn’t used to, if I’m honest. I drove around locally, but not too far or for too long and definitely not on motorways. But I know now how I was keeping myself fearful. I kept associating something that happened to me whilst driving when I was about 23. I was driving back on the M4 from a Nina Hagen concert and the weather was atrocious and I felt the car being taken by the wind into a lorry. Well nearly into a lorry and I got scared. And from that day I hated the thought of driving in the rain, on motorways, or in the dark, so I didn’t! A bit limiting eh?! Because I kept running that movie in my head and creating that fear again, and again and again.
Fast forward…on the Isle of Man with the smoothest of roads in front of me, and no speed limit, my husband asked me if I wanted to drive his car. A gorgeous Alfa Romeo sports car. I thought yes please I really want to do this, but oooh, damn I feel afraid.
I knew that enough was enough. I’d had enough of not driving when and where I wanted to, and this was a great place to change this and get rid of my driving fears for good.
So, first I used the Calming Wheel Technique to help my breathing become normal again, and found that by relaxing I was more focused on the road ahead. Always helpful when you’re driving!!! I could see very clearly and most importantly, I stopped my internal dialogue and felt calm.
The never-ending questioning of what would happen if…., had stopped. I was now looking at a picture of me driving well, safely, and actually enjoying myself doing it.
You see, that’s the difference that made the difference. I imagined my driving was good, and I was safe, and I was smiling.
Instead of creating pictures and sounds in my head that really resembled a stunt woman on a collision course, I imagined it all working out perfectly, for a change!
After a few drives on the mountain road, I did something I hadn’t done for years. I drove on the M6, the M25 and joined the A3 and drove safely home. Yay, that felt SO good 🙂
If you’d like to get over one of your fears, ask yourself this one question.
What would I see, hear and feel if it all worked out perfectly?
Run your new movie in your mind and notice how you feel now. As Dr. Richard Bandler said, “If you’re going to make movies in your head, why not make them good ones, make them spectacular with the ending you want to see”
Go on, make your own movie today, with the beginning, middle and end you really want to see, for a change!
To you enjoying yourself more!
Jo James xx
P.S. If you’d like to explore this, know which way your Calming Wheel travels to help you de-stress quickly, please get in touch, we just need about 20 minutes online together, and it’s free. We meet in my zoom room, where the magic happens. 💫
P.P.S. For more mindset strategies for success, please get in touch, or join my newsletter list, and I’ll email you at 10am on Monday mornings to give you and your business a boost.